Short, Fast And Loud (Confessions Of An Angry Young Man)

Am I angry? Fuck yeah, I’m angry! You would be too if you grew up with all the crap I had to! That’s why I’m pissed, 'cause I'll tell ya' man, my life’s been pretty shitty so far. I look around, and everything just sucks. Nobody cares what happens to me, so that's why I like to get shit-faced and listen to music that’s short, fast, and really, really loud. It's the only thing that gets me off. If I didn’t have that, man, I’d prob'ly deck most every stupid dickhead that gets up in my face. Yeah, I’m fuckin' angry!

"It Never Should’ve Happened In The First Place"

My father disappeared just two months after marrying my mother and never once looked back. He was a freakin’ bum anyway. About the same age as me, and my mother was only a just few years older. I was told I was conceived on their wedding night, but that’s not the way it happened, not for a minute! I mean, think about it. Two months! The marriage lasted only two fucking months! The only reason they got married was because of the pregnancy. I’m sure of it! I was a mistake. They never should’ve hooked up. What a couple of douche bags. My mother told me that after she threw him out, he and his brothers broke into the apartment and stole everything she had of any value, her radio, TV, jewelry, you name it. What an asshole. Fuck ‘em. To this day, I still haven’t gotten a straight answer about what happened, only that he was a shit head and we were better off without 'im. Well I’m not better off! No one’s better off! It never should’ve happened in the first place. Man, the whole thing was colossal mistake.

"I Don’t Even Fuckin' Care Anymore"

I was the first of three kids. What a fuckin’ joke! My mother should have stopped with me, but no, she kept crankin’ ‘em out like nickels from a slot machine, different fathers, all three of us. All I ever saw growin’ up was a parade of new boyfriends that changed every couple of months. I couldn't even keep ‘em straight. It'd be Chip, Chet, Chuck, whatever. I don’t even fuckin’ care anymore! They’d go out boozin’ it up nearly every night, and my sister and I would be stuck at home with some sadistic babysitter with pimples and bad breath. I mean, what can you say about a single mother who doesn't really give a shit, tryin’ to raise a coupla’ kids by herself except that it’s a load of shit. She gave us the three basics, food, clothing, and shelter, but that's about it! Lookin’ back, I probably had it the easiest, bein’ the first and all. My poor kid sister, man, she’s all fucked up! She got the worst of it. Never knew what the hell was goin’ on. The third, my brother, was given up for adoption. Lucky bastard. That was probably the smartest thing my mother ever did. Not just for him, but for all of us.

We never had much money either. Growin’ up, I lived all over the place. You know, crappy places like trailer parks, Section 8 housing, the projects. It was the shits. Every now and then we’d move into an actual house or apartment, but it never lasted long. I remember skippin’ out in the middle of the night, because the rent was four months overdue and she said she had nothin’ in the bank. We were already eatin’ canned soup and that kinda’ shit. We packed up everything we had, threw it in the trunk of the car, and split! Ha-ha! It felt pretty cool then, but it was really fucked up. We ended up at my grandmothers, the four of us sharin' some tiny little studio. And because we were always movin' around, I never had many friends. What was the point anyway? I’d just end up sayin’ goodbye before I really got to know ‘em. So why even bother? That’s why I started hangin’ out in my room, if I had one! I woulda’ gone crazy if I didn’t. I mean, who’d wanna be around my mother and sister anyway? They were always fightin’ and screamin’ at each other. It was a drag. Just a plain drag.

"Timmy This," And "Timmy That"

It was the biggest day of my 5th grade life. I was receivin' a scholastic achievement award for gettin’ straight A’s that year. Yeah, despite the crap at home, I did pretty good in school. I actually liked being there! Anyway, the winners were all to appear in the school auditorium in front of the entire student body, and our parents were invited to attend too. It was all I could talk about for weeks, I was so excited. The ceremony started at 1:00 in the afternoon, and my mother hadn’t shown up yet. We all filed out on stage, all us little twerps, and they were handin’ out the certificates and stuff. Everyone was clappin’ and smiling,’ and the freakin’ thing was just about wrappin’ up! I remember looking out in the audience, searchin’ for her face and wondering if she would make it before the whole thing was over. I felt really disappointed. I think I almost started to cry. Then, towards the very end, she finally arrives, all booze soaked as usual. In she comes, reeking of alcohol and cheap perfume, her tits hangin’ out all over the place. It’s funny now, but on that day, she was a pathetic fuckin' embarrassment! She staggered down the aisle with her latest bonehead, Hank or Huck, I don’t know, something with a fucking H. All the other kids had normal lookin' parents, a mother, and a father, and these two looked like they just had lunch at a distillery. Everyone was happy, and takin' pictures, pissin' all over themselves with pride, when up strolls my mother with this dick to join in on the love fest. Well, forgettin’ that she was in an elementary school, she lit a cigarette and started puffin’ away, until the school principle asked her to put it out. It was really embarrassing. She wobbles up the staircase to the stage and pulls me into her, all the while smotherin' my face in her tits, and starts blabberin' on about how proud she was of her "little Timmy." She kept goin’ on about, "Timmy this," and "Timmy that!" Crap like, “My little boy, Timmy, he's such an angel,” and “Timmy’s always been the smartest. He's gonna' be a doctor some day,” shit like that! She kept sayin' it over and over again in front of everybody, ‘Timmy!’ ‘Timmy!’ ‘Timmy!’ They all kept lookin' at us like they couldn't believe what they were fuckin' hearing, and it really hurt me, the fucking cunt! I hate her!

My goddamn name is fucking Tommy, not Tim!

© 2008 Miles Mellough

1) Sonic Reducer/The Dead Boys
2) I'm So Bored With The U.S.A./The Clash
3) Confused/The Nuns
4) Baby's No Good/The Mutants
5) Always Comes Back For More/SVT
6) We Love You/Cock Sparrer
7) We Got A Fight/Sham 69
8) My Generation/The Who
9) The Day The World Turned Day-Glo/X-Ray Spex
10) Snuff It/Alberto y Lost Trios Paranoias
11) 2-4-6-8 Motorway/Tom Robinson Band
12) You Really Got Me/The Kinks
13) 415 Music/The Readymades
14) The Modern World/The Jam
15) Shut Up & Dance/Pearl Harbour & The Explosions
16) Mystery Dance/Elvis Costello & The Atractions
17) Explosion/Ace & The Eights
18) Kick Out The Jams:Come Together/MC5
19) God Save The Queen/The Sex Pistols
20) Gimme' Some Truth/Generation X
21) Class War/The Dils
22) What Do I Get?/The Buzzcocks

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Note: 'Short, Fast and Loud' is comprised primarily of punk and post-punk material. By today's standards, it sounds almost tame. Funny how that works. A few of the bigger names from the era are included, such as The Clash, The Buzzcocks, Sex Pistols, The Jam, Dead Boys, Generation X, and Elvis Costello & The Attractions. Others were a bit less well-known, X-Ray Spex, Sham 69, and The Tom Robinson Band. The tracks by Cock Sparrer and Alberto y Lost Trios Paranoias are relatively rare, so I'm told. I don't really know. The remainder were among the principle players in the San Francisco punk scene of the late 70's. Those include, The Nuns, The Mutants, SVT, Pearl Harbour & The Explosions, The Readymades, and perhaps the most dynamic and criminally overlooked of the period, The Dils. On the other hand, another local band, Ace & The Eights are a group that I barely remember, but they did release one single that was built around a killer riff by guitarist, Rocket Morton. I think Kenny Dale Johnson may have also drummed for the band, before joining Chris Isaak. Pearl Harbour, along with Penelope Houston of The Avengers, and Jennifer Miro of The Nuns, was among the few women who fronted their own bands during the punk era. Although Harbour wasn't angry, she did exude a great deal of sex appeal, making it impossible for any red blooded male punkster to resist her, whether they liked her music or not. Most just wouldn't be quick to admit it. As for the inclusion of The Who, The Kinks, and MC5, these bands (and particularly these singles) represent the first real punk music I ever heard (Jerry Lee and Little Richard notwithstanding). Predating the genre, The Kinks set the stage with the 3 chord sound that launched a thousand imitators. The Who exemplified teenaged angst ridden proto-punk with their early singles, and later, The MC5 added the politics of change to the frustration of alienated youth (whether they were used as tools for someone else's agenda or not). Many other names, both locally and internationally could have included, and maybe they should have, but they're not. End of note.